Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Got Jerks? Get Help

Got any jerks in your life? You know the type. The ones who think they know it all, the ones who don't listen to a word you say, the ones who push and push until you can't take it, or the ones who are the first to cry victim but the last to admit to a fault. They are exhausting, relentless, aggressive, nitpicking, frustrating, and by the time you are done talking to them you want to run away screaming.

Worse yet, they can turn even the best of days upside-down with just a comment, message, text or email. You have become so programmed to their belligerent behavior that just the mention of their name stirs you inside and the sound of their voice can bring a fight-or-flight response. As with any jerk, there are those who agree with you about the behavior and then those who adamantly disagree believing him/her to be a wonderful person. So what can you do? What do you do with all of that frustration especially if you are unsure of whom to confine it?

Identify the abnormal behavior. The natural tendency when confronted by a jerk is to do just that, label them as a jerk. While this may bring about some comfort, he/she is the jerk and not you, in the end it leaves you with nothing to do except avoid them. More than likely, if this person is bothering you he/she is not a person you can avoid indefinitely. So instead of labeling and dismissing him/her, identify the behavior that is driving you nuts. Is it a word, phrase, tone of voice, emotion such as anger, aggression, or the way you were attacked? If it is several of these, break it down until you have one really irritating piece.

Identify what it reminds you of. Ask "what does this behavior remind me of" or "who does this behavior remind me of". The first thing that pops into your head is usually the best as long as it is not the same person or incident. For instance, you receive an email from a co-worker who created a larger than life problem but is now trying to shift the blame onto you. You are stuck cleaning up the mess and have to deal with the co-worker but are angry at his/her continued unwillingness to take responsibility for his/her actions. The email sends you over the top as now he/she has manipulated the circumstances to blame you for his/her mistake. So ask the two questions. Could it be that this person reminds you of the time when a bully beat you up and then said it was you who started the fight and the bully was only defend him/her? You may need to ask the question again if there is more than one similar incident, keep going until you have a couple of irritating people on your list.

Identify how you wish you responded. Now that you have the underlying incident mixed with the underlying person, examine how you responded. Most likely you have already replayed the incident in your head over and over wishing for another opportunity to confront the person and given the same set of circumstances and now your response would have been much better. In reality we don't have opportunities to turn back the clock and confront but we do have current circumstances with similar characters which is exactly where you are with the jerky behavior today. At some deep level, this current circumstance reminded you of a past circumstance in which you already had a strong desire to do something different.

So do something different. What is the outcome you are trying to achieve? Using the above story, if your desired outcome is to get noticed for doing quality work, then do excellent flawless work. Don't let the jerk at the office rattle you and cause you to be ineffective, that is his/her goal; rather, use their immature behavior as a way of highlighting your mature behavior. And in the end not only will you feel better but you are one step closer to your desired outcome.

Don't allow the jerks to get the best of you and distract you from doing your work, having fun, or just hanging with the family. He/she lives to steal the best from others and use it to enhance himself/herself. There is no need for you to fall victim again to another trap, identify it and do something different instead.



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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Win Back Your Ex By Making Them Fall In Love With You

Given that you want to win back your ex understand that you remain the person with the greatest likelihood of making this a possibility. After all, your ex fell in love with you at some time even if they are not willing to admit it. Accepting that there is hope in being able to win back your ex is foundational for moving ahead with the following concepts. Belief will help you persevere through some of the challenges that come in trying to win back your ex. On the other hand, belief alone cannot bring your ex back and implementing the information contained here places the probability much higher.

When your ex knows that you are permanently going to be there waiting because you are in love with them it makes it harder for them to fall in love with you. People always want what they can't have and by waiting it causes them not to want you. The idea may seem contradictory to what feels to be the natural course you should go to win back your ex. However, by breaking yourself free from your attachment to them at least for a short time it develops curiosity and makes you more attractive. Become conscious of your availability to your ex.

As a consequence of the breakup you have a separate life from theirs now and so you must not be easily available to them anymore. Instead of sulking and waiting around for your ex to contact you, it is now time to go out and do things that you like. There will be a noticeable change in you and your behavior which will get things moving quickly to win back your ex. By taking care of yourself the confidence portrayed to your ex becomes fiercely attractive.

In the beginning of the relationship you were doing everything you could to impress your ex. Start exercising or whatever makes you feel energized and ready to take on the day. Getting into a confident, energetic state everyday will get you enjoying life triggering people to be pulled towards you. Be aware of all the wonderful things that are going right and working in your life now.

Having gratitude creates amazing changes in your character for the reason that it gives the impression to everyone around you that there is something you have that they don't. As mentioned previously people are always wanting to chase what they don't have. By appearing to have everything you become a magnet to everyone who wants what you have. You'll exude happiness inside and drive your ex crazy thinking about the changes you have made.

Discovering these wonderful aspects within you allows love to surge inside making you a person to be loved. Through loving yourself first and not needing your ex to give that love it positions you into a desirable outcome. When you stop having to get the love from your ex is when your ex begins chasing you for love.



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Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back the Right Way by Avoiding These Texting Mishaps

A lot of girls who go through breakups end up feeling miserable and depressed. Some girls even feel so depressed that they stop eating and living their lives normally altogether. If this sounds like you, then you need to get up and do something about it. If you really want to win your ex boyfriend back, then do it! However, you should do it the right away and this means avoiding the following texting mishaps like the plague.

Texting Mishap 1. Texting him all day everyday.

If you want to win your ex boyfriend back through text, then you should never, ever do this - most of all if he never replies to your texts to begin with. If he doesn't respond, then just leave him alone for a while. Texting him constantly won't make him think that you're his soul mate - that's for sure. In fact, it might just ruin your chances of winning him back altogether. So, although avoiding the temptation to text your ex boyfriend might be difficult, you have to do it if you want to avoid looking like a desperate stalker. Besides, your ex might just miss you if you lay low for a while.

Texting Mishap 2. Bringing up the breakup.

If you want to win your ex boyfriend back through text, don't mention the breakup when you text him - or your past relationship, for that matter. Badgering him about why he broke up with you and why he won't give you another chance will only annoy him and make him realize that he made the right choice. Just accept the fact that you aren't together for now and try to be his friend. If it burgeons into something more in the future, then that's great, but don't think that far ahead for now.

Texting Mishap 3. Begging for a reconciliation.

Probably the biggest texting mishap that you have to avoid if you want to win your ex boyfriend back through text would begging him for another chance. No matter how emotional you might be at the moment or how intense your thought processes are being because of your emotions, do not show him how you feel. If you send him text messages that beg for another chance, you will merely look needy and clingy, and he will know that he has the power to control you from now on - and that definitely wouldn't be a good thing.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Just Friends - Powerful Secrets to Get Past Just Friends With An Ex

Your ex has just come to you and said that it is better that you are just friends, how do you try and make it more? The challenges that appear from still being in love with your ex but being in the "just friend's" mode can add extra strain to having more. Under the situation you continue to wonder what you are doing which makes the condition absolutely frustrating. Wanting more out of the relationship is completely natural but if you leave the relationship in the friend zone for too long you can feel trapped. Understanding your position in the friendship, its advantages and disadvantages, and how to move into a relationship again are the intentions of this article.

Identify the role you play as being a friend with your ex will shed light on how to get your ex back. Are you the friend that they in no way call or talk to since the breakup? If you are playing this role in the relationship than that is just their way of easing the pain of the breakup and they aren't interested in friendship. Maybe your ex does talk with you on occasion it is enjoyable with progress being made but not much. Being friends under this situation is not all that you completely want but there is some advantage to it.

Regard your friendship as an opportunity to still be in contact with your ex but keeping the relationship on a provisional basis. During this trial period it is necessary that you begin making changes or else your ex will see to it that staying just friends or worse ending things with you is the right thing to do. Regardless if you are in contact or not you must be aware of why the relationship ended. By remaining in regular communication you secure your position to get through this comfort zone of friends designed to keep both of you happy, it is after all temporary.

The essential factor in developing the relationship into more than friends is to create attraction, emotional connection, and sexual tension. Attraction is the major difference between friendship and a relationship. In the beginning of the relationship with your ex you were doing the best you could to look good and impress them. Additionally, the conversations were long and enjoyable discussing all there was to learn about each other. Begin to focus your discussions in a similar manner by avoiding the talk of your relationship and the breakup. Direct the conversations toward similar interests and be flirtatious. Be patient because rebuilding the attraction can take a bit of time. Most importantly focus on the conversation and building the connection again.

Domestic Abuse Counseling - Why Do Couples in Abusive Relationships Waste Hope in the Wrong Therapy?

One of saddest things about people in abusive relationships is the way they use their counseling losses and therapy misses to lock themselves in their despair, until the lid pops and they end up in a domestic abuse divorce.

These people know they walk on eggshells and sleep on rocky waters. They reach out to couples therapy and oftentimes find that the dynamics underlying their discord solidifies.

Once they both acknowledge that they are getting nowhere in therapy, they stop the counseling. Then when the abuse stirring in their relationship is sufficiently felt by both of them, a new therapist becomes the target of hope once again.

While the hope is sweet, the prospect for a positive outcome remains the same as it did prior, because the therapy is the same. They engage a different therapist, but the same therapeutic orientation.

Seeking Therapy Without Treating the Problem

After the second try (i.e. stab at it... no pun intended), they conclude that therapy does not work and cannot influence their dysfunctional relationship. They appreciate that both therapists share the same observations. And they themselves even admit to what the professionals observe.

However, at this juncture, they live on the tail of two failed therapy attempts. Consequently, one or both of them believes that therapy simply doesn't work, or doesn't work for them... and certainly not for their problems.

What surprises me is that it doesn't occur to couples that they are in the wrong therapy. It's possible that therapy is such an obscure thing for the general public, that they see it as one intervention.

I liken it to the belief that "medicine" is what you do when you hurt or when you are ill. Now this may sound like an over simplification, but imagine this: A podiatrist's treatment doesn't correct your back pain, and you walk around believing that podiatry doesn't work.

The Divorce Remedy for Domestic Abuse

Then the going gets rough for the couple once again, but this time they have cold feet... and they prefer not to go the therapy route, so they hold tight until the day comes when one of them is served with divorce papers.

This scenario, as I have described, happens to more domestic abuse couples in divorce court then not. In other words, it is common practice for abusive relationships in route to divorce. I lived it firsthand and observe it in couples coast-to-coast.

If you are in an abusive relationship seeking help for the control and abuse issues that you live, find help directed toward the dysfunctional dynamics in your relationships. If you don't get specialized treatment, you will spend your promise and exhaust your hope before giving yourself the benefit of an appropriate intervention for your problem.



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Learn How To Contact An Ex Girlfriend After The No Contact Period Has Ended

So you have completed one full, very difficult, month of no contact and you still have the burning desire to get back in touch with your ex girlfriend? Then it's very important you contact her the right way. If you don't then you will have ruined all your hard work from the one month of no contact phase. You did complete the one month no contact phase, right? Yes? Excellent.

I would be really surprised if she hasn't contacted you yet. Usually after going no contact for a month the woman starts to really miss her ex boyfriend and will most likely contact him. From my previous experience this is definitely true! I will, however, write this article assuming you have completed one month of no contact and she has not contacted you yet.

Did you complete the other steps I highly recommend? Have you eliminated your negative emotions? Have you worked out why the relationship ended? Have you been working on making your life more interesting and fulfilling? If not, then you really need to go take care of these three things. When you initiate contact with your ex girlfriend you need to be in the right state of mind. You can say the right things but if you aren't in the right state of mind then she WILL see right through that and find your words weak and manipulative. Before you contact her make sure you are coming from the right emotional state. It's critical!

Emotional state in check, you are now ready to learn how to contact your ex. At this point you should focus on just becoming friends with her. You should not be initiating contact with her with the mindset of 'you need her back'. I recommend just sending a text message because it's very low commitment. If you call her and for some reason she doesn't answer it will drive you crazy and only bad things will follow. So send a text, your text should be positive, light hearted and contain some value for her.

An example of a bad text message "Oh god baby I missed you so much. This month of no contact has been so difficult for me. I NEED you XXxxX". Why is this message bad? Well it shows that you are needy, insecure and you have nothing really going for you in your life. This message will just turn her off you completely. She will just feel sorry for you but will have no feelings of attraction.

A better message "Hey NAME, my friend just told me about a yoga class near 123 Sesame Street. It's free for beginners. You should check it out my friend says it's awesome!" Why is this a better message? If she was talking about learning yoga but couldn't find a place then you have given her some value and you have conveyed that you are a sociable guy because you have friends. The message is also positive. Your ex may also start thinking "Which of his friends goes to yoga class?" and as it's mostly women who go to yoga class this will create some intrigue or mystery in your ex girlfriends mind.

A quick summary: Make sure that you wait one full month before contacting your ex and that when you contact her, send her message that is aimed at her interests and conveys that you are fun, sociable and a happy guy.



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How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back When He Has Moved On? Is It Possible?

Getting back together with an ex boyfriend can be challenging. On the other hand, getting back with an ex that has already moved on may seem daunting. So, it possible? Yes, definitely. Will it be hard? Yes to that too, but again, not impossible.

Here are some tips on how you can get your ex back:

1. Look your best.

Sometimes, some ladies who feel too comfortable in their own skin forget that they should still take care of themselves. Have a haircut that will emphasize your features, hair color that brings out the color of your eyes and complements your skin tone, and workout to look and feel better. Any ex who sees that their former girlfriend looks great immediately realizes that they have lost a woman that is definitely a catch.

2. Keep in touch with your ex.

Remind him of how you started as just friends, and that staying as such will be nice. Talking about the good times you've had in the past is also a great way to remind him of how great and fun it is being with you. Casually mention things that you like and appreciate about him. Note: Make sure that how it's said does not sound desperate or needy. A lady who wants to get back with an ex boyfriend should never sound desperate.

3. Be the friend who cares and is always ready to listen.

It may seem sneaky for some people, but being an ex's the confidante is one sure way of getting to know what he really wants. Knowing more about what your ex likes and doesn't like will paint you a clear picture of what went wrong in the past.

4. Take the time to reflect.

Remember all the previous arguments and the why they started. If these are things that can be worked on, do it. It is true that true love requires acceptance, but a lot of negative traits or experiences drive people away. Work on being a better person and it shall be seen by the surrounding people, including your ex.

5. Play a bit hard to get.

If after doing all the previous items and your ex says that he wants you back, don't jump right into his arms. Instead, tell him that it is something that requires a lot of thinking. One thing that most men like is the "chase." In the end, they'll realize how much of a treasure you really are.

Understanding Male Psychology - Why Ignoring Your Ex-Boyfriend Works

You've heard the same advice time and time again since the break up. You're supposed to ignore your ex boyfriend if you want to get him back. At first glance it makes absolutely no sense at all. How in the world could ignoring a man make him decide that he wants you back? The opposite seems much more likely, doesn't it? Internally you feel that right now would be the perfect time to pick up the phone to call your ex boyfriend and suggest you two try and work things out. But everyone is screaming at you to not do that. You're confused, you feel desperate and you're worried that you're going to make a mistake that's going to cost you the man you love. Before you do anything, you need a short and concise lesson in male psychology. There's a very good reason why you should pay attention to those who tell you to forget your ex boyfriend's phone number, address and place of work.

Right Now You're Not in Control of Your Failed Relationship

After a break up the individual who is chasing their ex partner is not in control of the future of the relationship. As women we often wish we could live our lives in the pages of a romance novel. We imagine that moment when our ex boyfriend picks up the phone to say he can't live another day without us. The problem is that in reality that's not likely to happen if you're chasing him non-stop. Your actions really do speak louder than your words in this scenario and your actions are screaming a message that loudly declares, "I'm desperate and I don't care who knows it."

He is completely in control of what happens next. If he chooses to ignore you, he knows instinctively that you're just going to step up your efforts and pursue him even more. Essentially you're telling him that the more he ignores you, the harder you'll try. Your life revolves around him and that feeds his ego. Most men in this position aren't quick to give their ex girlfriend the time of day because they want to see how far she'll push herself in an effort to win him back.

You must shift the dynamic of the relationship so that you're the one in control of the future. The best way to do that is to change your own behavior. You'll actually be surprised at how quickly he'll decide he wants you when he suddenly believes you no longer want him.

There's More to Ignoring Your Ex Boyfriend Than Not Answering His Texts

One relationship changing error that many women make before they start no contact with their ex boyfriend is they tell him of their intentions in such a way that he realizes that it's little more than a game. If you announce to your ex boyfriend that you're no longer talking to him, and you do that while you're overly emotional, he's going to view it as a tactic to get him back. His competitive spirit will kick itself into overdrive and he'll set out on his own course to ignore you. Before you know it, weeks or months will have passed and you'll both be too stubborn to reach out to connect with the other.

You're much better off just dropping off the face of the earth. The best advice you can follow is to decide one moment (now is good) that you're not going to talk or try to try to your ex boyfriend again for at least a month. Don't let anyone know that you're doing this as mutual friends love to gossip and your ex boyfriend will once again realize you're using no contact as a tool to remind him how much he needs you.

During the next month, try your best to shift your focus to something positive and enriching. It's very tempting to sit and wallow in the memories of when you two were together but that's not going to accomplish anything productive for you. This should be a month when you rediscover who you are, as a woman, and you get in touch with what you want out of life.

Redefine What Your Life Goals Are As You Distance Yourself From Your Ex

You're in for a couple of welcome surprises when you do begin the journey of ignoring your ex boyfriend. First and foremost, you're going to be shocked with how he responds. Typically a man will want a woman who no longer wants him. Once your ex boyfriend realizes that you've stopped your never-ending quest to regain his love and devotion, he'll set out to recapture your heart. It's amazing how that works. Men are notorious for wanting things in life that are just beyond their reach. When one of those things becomes an ex girlfriend, a man will kick his charm into high gear in an effort to win her back. Basically, if you take away the knowledge that you want him, he'll start to question who you do want. Once that happens, he'll come running back to you full force, trying to get you to explain to him what's changed.

The other, more welcome, benefit of ignoring your ex boyfriend is you get to finally decide, in an emotionally uncluttered way, whether getting back together is actually something that you want or need. Things look and feel much different a month after the break up. Your emotions are settled, your future is less defined and you are open to a whole array of possibilities.

Giving yourself the opportunity to take a breath from your ex boyfriend is one of the best gifts you can possibly ever get. You will finally be able to decide what is best for you and whether reuniting with him is truly the best way to make all your romantic dreams come true.



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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend - Why You Can't Be The Guy Who Never Forgets

There are tons of mistakes that a man can make if he is trying to get back with an ex girlfriend and you really don't want to make too many of these mistakes if you are going to stand any kind of a real chance to reconcile with the woman you love. One of the mistakes that I see happen all of the time and most men don't even realize that it is a mistake is when they are the guy who never forgets. What I really mean by this is, they bring up the past all of the time and that actually makes it harder for them to have a chance of having a future with their ex girlfriend. This is one mistake that you really don't want to make if you are going to be able to have a future with her.

Why You Can't Be That Way -

Most men are going to assume that it is a good idea to constantly remind her of the past, back when they were in a relationship and it is easy to understand why that is. You would assume that the more you make her think of you and her being a couple, the more likely it is that she is going to want to go back to being one. Here is the thing with that, though: When you are constantly bringing up the past, you make it seem like a guy who only lives in the past and most women are not attracted to that. Some are, but most are not.

Not only that, but you would also have to realize that the past also includes those times when your ex girlfriend was not that happy and that is something that you don't want to remind her of. If you keep on bringing up those past memories, chances are she is also going to remember the arguments and all of the other things that made her want to break up with you.

Show Her a Better Future -

Rather than bringing up the past all of the time with your ex girlfriend, you will do yourself a lot of good if you can focus on showing your ex girlfriend that the future will be good if she gets back with you. Don't focus on what you used to do with one another, focus on the things that you could do if you get back together with her. When you can make your ex girlfriend feel like the past is behind you and that you can make her future much better if she chooses to be with you, then you have a really good shot at being able to reconcile with her.



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Friday, June 15, 2012

Why Men Pull Away In Relationships

What Makes Him Pull Away from the Relationship?

Relationships are complex and delicate. They demand the perfect balance between two individuals. Something very tiny and insignificant can result in romance disaster.

Many women wonder why do men pull away? In the beginning, it all seems perfect, romantic and having the potential to last a lifetime. Suddenly, he starts losing interest and begins growing distant. What causes this transformation?

Why men pull away in relationships? The reasons are numerous. Sometimes, it may be the understanding of incompatibility. In other occasions, the behavior of a girlfriend can be destructive enough to make him pull away.

The Jealous Type

Jealousy is one of the main relationship killers. Unfortunately, many people fall victim to it because of their insecurities. Jealous girlfriends destroy their relationships before the partnership has managed to fully evolve.

Jealousy is a form of intense possessiveness and desire to control the life of a partner. People that have a jealous girlfriend or boyfriend will very often go through emotional abuse. A man will probably wish to end it if his girlfriend is acting out overly suspicious and protective.

She was Perfect in the Beginning And Then She Changed

Why do men pull away from a romantic involvement? Very often, ladies adopt a specific type of behavior that is supposed to attract men. Once the relationship starts, their attitude changes.

The nice, nourishing and gentle girlfriend disappears. The neurotic who is overly critical steps into her shoes. Many men begin feeling that they are in a relationship with a stranger. Such transformations can destroy the love between two people.

Boring in the Bedroom

Sex is a major part of every successful relationship. Intimacy problems can be detrimental if no action is undertaken to deal with the issue.

Intimacy with the same partner can get boring. As people get to know each other better, the initial passion subsides. It is also possible for the couple to start having sex fewer times per week. These changes are normal but if the sex becomes routine and boring, the relationship is doomed.

So many women are uncertain in their sexuality. Many girls believe that being more open and experimental about it will signify that they are easy. Such thoughts and ideas will often make men pull away, especially if their girlfriends are unwilling to change or at least try something new.

Wedding Bells

Men are likely to pull away if their girlfriends begin moving too fast. A relationship should follow its natural pace. Things that are rushed will usually never last.

Some women feel desperate. They will hold on to a new relationship, imagining marriage and starting a family with a partner. This is great, as long as it happens at the right time. Rushing things will make him pull away.

Does My Ex Girlfriend Still Care About Me? These 9 Questions Reveal The Answer

After being in a great relationship for a long time it can be very difficult for us to accept that it has actually ended. You still keep wondering does she still love me? Does she still care about me or think about me? Is there a chance we can get back together? It's very important to get an idea of whether your ex girlfriend still cares about you or not so you can figure out what to do next!

Below are the 9 questions you can use to get an idea of how your ex girlfriend feels about you:

1. Does she try to keep in contact with you? This could be by text message, WhatsApp, Facebook etc.

2. Does she show any feelings or emotions towards you, positive or negative?

3. When you do talk, does she bring up stories from your past together or use old nicknames she had for you?

4. If she is with another guy now does it seem like she is trying to make a show of it? Does it feel like she cares more about making you jealous rather than her relationship with that guy?

5. Has she been asking any of your mutual friends about you, just to see how you are doing?

6. Does she ever bring up issues about how your relationship ended or spend time reflecting on it?

7. Has she changed a lot since the breakup? Has she started putting more effort into her appearance and seem to be generally happier and more outgoing?

8. Has she done anything that may suggest she regrets the breakup at all?

9. If you are in the same room together does she stare at you, when she believes you are not looking?

If at least 4 of your answers were yes then it is very likely that your ex girlfriend still cares about you. What happens next is up to you! You have a choice of either trying to move on with your life and put this break up behind you or you can try win your love back. Either way the most important thing for you to do now is to go slow and take your time in making a decision. You need to let your wounds heal and get rid of any negative emotions you may be feeling right now in order to make the right decision for you.

If after a month of no contact you still realise that both you and your ex girlfriend still care about each other and you want a second chance at a relationship it's very important that you have a good plan to get her back. Annoyingly our emotional instincts ruin things for us. If you trust your instincts you will make some bad decisions that will kill your chances of ever getting her back.

Do not underestimate the importance of this one month recovery phase. It's essential to both moving on and getting your ex back.



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Recovering From a Breakup

After what seems to be a happily-ever-after romance is the most difficult part of breakups and that is recovering. Recovering from a breakup is not easy, most especially, for someone who is not emotionally vulnerable. Although this may be true, bouncing back on your feet after a breakup is a must because, as we all know, life doesn't end after a relationship, but it goes on and on with or without that special someone. And so, recovering doesn't mean that you need to forget that relationship completely or forget that you knew that person, on the other hand, recovering form a breakup means that you have to find yourself again and be whole as person again. It would probably take a while for you to be able to bounce back again but eventually, there is sunshine after the rain, light after dark, sweetness after bitterness. This process is not just intended for those who have already broken up with their love ones but also for those who want to know how to get over from a breakup. It is intended for everyone who thinks that they just have to wallow on themselves the pain and bitterness of breakup. The process of recovering from a breakup includes bouncing back your ego, thinking things over, and embracing your new status.

The most common thing that you will probably do after a breakup is to let your ego go along the relationship down to the drain, which is not the right step to do.never if you are the one who first initiate the breakup or the one who has been dumped, your ego will surely shrink. You will feel that you are not good enough and you will lose your self-esteem. Feeling sorrowful won't bring back what you have already lost so it is not necessary to lose yourself, too. So the first thing that you should do after a breakup is to booze your ego. This step is necessary to be able to cope, be yourself again and have the courage to move on.

After you have gained back your ego and you are yourself again, it is time to think things over and estimate the damage of your broken relationship. It is all right that in the first weeks or days of the breakup you just sit by the corner and cry your heart out but don't overdo it. The right move is to think about how you could mend your broken heart. Think on how or why your relationship went wrong but balance your convictions. If you think that you are the one who caused the damage then probably think of solutions to solve the problem in you. But if you have already decided to move away from the relationship and move on by yourself then what you should be thinking of is on how you could start over again. Consequently, after that, it is time to accept and embrace your new status. You don't have to go on to be with one person to another after a breakup just to fill that empty hole in your life or feel that you are still part of a relationship. It would distract you from the pain but it wont help in coping. Embrace you new single life and date others to get a better idea of the type of person you want to be with. Next thing you know, after you have already accepted the idea of finding someone new and the single state, you are now on your way to happiness.

The process of recovering from a breakup is important so you won't do the wrong thing just to deal with the pain. It is important because some people lose themselves just because of a broken relationship and this is not the right way. The most important and probably effective steps in this process are to be able to get back on your feet again, to bounce back your ego and to accept the new single state.



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What If You Want Your Ex Girlfriend Back But Others Are Telling You To Leave Her Alone?

One of the things that I always find to be a little bit peculiar is just how eager people seem to be to give others relationship advice even when they don't seem to be doing that well in that area themselves. If you have every shared the fact that you kind of want to get back with your ex girlfriend, then I am sure that you have been told that you need to just leave her alone. And you know, while that is good advice some of the time, some of the time it is not.

There are plenty of situations where couples break up when they should have stayed together and just because others are telling you that you need to leave her alone and move on - that does not necessarily mean that it is the right thing to do.

Only you really know what is going to make you happy. People can mean well when they dish out relationship advice, but that does not always mean that they are telling you what you need to hear. Not to mention that plenty of people bring their own biases into the advice that they give out, so a lot of the time you are getting advice from someone who found it hard when they tried to win back an ex, and they expect that to be the case for you.

It does not have to be that way at all.

When you approach getting back your ex girlfriend with the right mindset and you also have a strategy that is going to work well, it can actually be easier than you would expect to win back your ex. Keep that in mind when you are getting advice from other people and realize that although they might mean well, they are not always giving you the best advice that you can get.

So, if you have been getting a lot of recommendations that you just need to move on, try and look at it from the perspective of what you want more than anything else. If you decide that getting back with your ex girlfriend is what is going to really make you happy, go for it. When you look back on a situation like this later on, you are not going to be thinking about how other people feel about your situation, you are only going to be thinking about the way that you feel. If you feel like giving it another shot with your ex girlfriend is the right thing to do, well, then you have your answer.

Just remember that you need to also develop a strategy to win her back, because it does not happen just because that is what you want. it only happens when you are able to make her feel like she wants the same thing.

How to Get Her Back Even When You Think All Hope Is Lost

Losing all hope when it comes to getting back with an ex girlfriend is one of the worst things that can happen to a guy. It feels terrible when you feel like you don't stand a chance to get back the woman that you love. Now, most men will just figure that they might as well just forget about resurrecting any hope that they used to have of winning her back when they feel this way, but that certainly is not going to help you to get her back. There are some tips that can help you to win back the woman you lost, even when you currently feel like you don't have any hope at all.

Here's what you can do when you feel like you don't have any hope at all in getting her back:

The first thing that you need to do is to get your confidence back. Losing hope is usually just another way of describing what you feel like when you have lost your confidence. A good way to get it back is to get a little bit of positive feedback from women. So, even though it may sound like the wrong choice to make, go ahead and get a little flirtatious with women. You don't have to play mind games or anything like that, just flirt with women a little bit so that you can get some positive feedback and build your confidence back up, because you are going to need it.

Next, you have to be able to train yourself to become a little less obvious when you talk to your ex girlfriend or around her. What I mean by this is, you don't want her to know right away that the only thing that you want is to have her back in your life. You need to be able to keep her guessing a little bit, because it is that uncertainty that really starts to build up her attraction for you again.

Finally, if you are really going to be successful at getting back with your ex girlfriend, you can't follow the same path that most men take. Most guys are going to pour their heart out to their ex girlfriend and then get mad at her if she doesn't automatically give them a second chance. That's not at all what you want to do. What you need to show her is that you are a great guy, but that you are not trying to put any pressure on her to make her feel like she has to give you another chance with her. If you can do this final step, then you should find that the hope returns and your ex girlfriend might even return as well.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Why Did My Boyfriend Dump Me For No Reason and How Can I Get Him Back?

No saying describes relationships better than, "you only miss the water once the well runs dry," which equates to you never being able to appreciate what you have until it is gone. Women especially have the psyche that because of the traditional role of men as the pursuer, all mistakes in a relationship should be fixed by him; however, men have their limits and can easily become fed up.

If you are among those women suffering from a breakup but can't move on because you still love your ex and don't know in the first place why your relationship crashed and burned, below are possible reasons why he left you and how can you remedy each one:

1. Get Your Boyfriend Back After Cheating

This is the gravest of mistakes you can commit. Even without actually cheating, just the mistake of making him insecure enough to think that you had an affair can be a reason for your breakup. Remember that men are egotistical by nature; aside from the emotional hurt you gave him was the blow to his pride.

The first thing to do is to give him time and space for his hurt to subside. Then go out of your way to show him how miserable you are because he let you go. His love for you did not diminish because of what you did, so it is just a matter of time before he misses you. To aid him, try to stage "coincidental" meetings; but never overdo these.

2. How to Get Him Back Even When You Were Too Busy

This is an easy situation. Again, before commencing your attempt at getting back with your boyfriend, allow the hurt to abate first. All you have to do is promise to give him your undivided attention this time. Let him feel that he is your world and not even your career is as important as him.

3. Get Back Together After You Lost Your Touch

It does not mean that you have been with a guy for a long time that you should slack off. Your first trip should be to the spa or saloon to get your appeal back so as to attract him. Then, make ways to show him that you have regained your lost glory.

Remember that no situation is too impossible for you to fix. You just have to know the right way and tools to get your ex back even when he left you.

How to Get My Ex Back Without Looking Desperate - Use This Simple Method

You might have heard of the saying that it is not what you say, but how you say it; however, in failed relationships, getting the chance to say what you feel in person to get your ex back can be next to impossible.

This Simple Method Will Help You Avoid Desperation

Fortunately, you can now use the aid of technology to send your message across with the help of your mobile. In other words, you can use text messages. The benefit of using text messages effectively is that you will not look desperate in the eyes of your ex.

It Is Important To Plan What To Say

However, because a text message is quite limited, you have to plan carefully what to say. You can start the ball rolling by finding a good quote to let them know you are still interested in making things work. This is the easy part. The most challenging step is to actually sustain your communication with your ex to gain their affection and trust back. The following are tips of using a text message to get your ex back:

Paint A Picture In Their Mind

Remember that using a text message has the limitation of being devoid of emotions so you have to play your words right. Frame your message to sound cool and okay with the break up.

I know this seems counter-intuitive. However, this is a psychological tactic that works really well. And of course, by doing so, you are not showing any signs of desperation.

Know What Not To Send To Your Ex

To a certain extent, knowing what NOT to say is even more important than knowing exactly what to say. Why is that so?

Well, if you say the wrong things, you are going to push your ex away. For example, you don't want to send a text message saying how much you miss them. You don't want to tell your ex how miserable you are feeling.

Your ex will be able to see that you are desperate, which is what you are trying to avoid in the first place.

Do Not Put Your Ex In A Defensive Position

Avoid aggravating them. Never ever point out his part in ending your relationship as this will only bring them on a defensive mode; and you will not be able to state your case. You might even end up fighting because of bringing up their mistakes. Conversely, they might not be defensive but will fail to hear you out.

Never Sound Too Clingy or Too Needy

Don't sound very desperate as this can be grounds for them to take advantage of your situation should they decide to take you back. There is a difference between being sincere and despairing. Avoid statements such as "I would die if I don't get you back" or "You are the only man/woman I will love until I die, so please take me back."

Always Proofread

Remember to read your message thrice or more times before hitting the send button because you can never take it back. Be sure also to avoid double meanings and messages open for interpretation. You can also ask the opinion of your good friends of how your text message sounds as you might be too distracted emotionally to think straight.



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Unhappy With Boyfriend Advice - How To Help Your Boyfriend Make You Happy

You love your boyfriend a lot and he is delightful at times. But right now, you feel unhappy with your boyfriend, and you know your behavior could be pushing him away. To help save your relationship and make it even better, allow me to share with you some 'unhappy with boyfriend advice' (what I do when I am unhappy with my boyfriend). Doing this has not only saved our relationship from misery, we are both happy most of the time now. More importantly, as a result of what I've done, my boyfriend finds me so precious that he doesn't want to let me go. He has proposed and we are preparing for marriage!

My advice to someone who is unhappy with her boyfriend is to understand men better. To do this, I've attended seminars, read books, researched online and spoke to people (both male and female). Overall, I still find books to be the most comprehensive and accessible method to understand men better. The more you understand men, the easier it gets for you to help your boyfriend make you happier. Without additional knowledge, you can spin round in circles - doing the same old things while hoping for a different result... insanity.

However, in my quest to understand men better, I've made some common mistakes...

1. I asked my boyfriend to explain his behavior to me. From my experience, this only frustrates and confuses men. In the beginning, a guy may play along and explain himself. But the answers are usually very short and don't really explain anything. After a while, the guy gets frustrated and refuses to say anything. He gets very moody and withdraws. The relationship dies a slow death. So if you want to understand your boyfriend better, don't ask him yet. Learn from a trusted source first and confirm what you've learned with him later.

2. I've read some books and thought I knew it all. In the beginning, I read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. I even attended a talk by Dr John Gray himself. I thought I knew it all and stopped learning after that. Unfortunately, even though I had gained additional informational, it still didn't help me save my relationship with my ex. There was more that I needed to learn.

For some women, attending one course and reading one book can change the way they relate to their boyfriend and improve their relationship tremendously. Perhaps I am a slower learner. So, I've had to continuously read and learn more from relationship experts in order to understand men better.

My point is, if you've read some books before, applied the information and got happier with your boyfriend for a while, but then it got worse again, don't give up. Education is a life-long process. As long as we've got books about relationships to read, forums, counselors, married friends to talk to, everything is going to be fine. You definitely have the power to make your relationship dreams come true.

Why it's been important for me to understand men better when I feel unhappy with my boyfriend...

Each time I felt unhappy with my boyfriend, he wasn't the one who had a problem with our relationship. I did. And the more unhappy I was, the more he withdrew. This made me feel anxious, which caused him to withdraw further. It was a downward spiral. But spending time alone to read more about understanding men always brings my heart and mind back to the 'right' place... I feel a deeper compassion for my boyfriend and men in general. I also get great ideas on what to do to help my boyfriend give me what I need and want.

But shouldn't my boyfriend work harder to make me feel better too?

The fact is, men are really quite clueless about relationships. You may not believe it now, but all a man wants is to make you happy. And when you are not happy, he feels bad about himself. Unfortunately, men don't and can't truly understand a woman. I always tell my friends "Heck, I'm a woman and I can't understand women!" So I urge you not to be hard on your boyfriend when you are unhappy. If he knew how to make you happy, he would.

Still, nagging, scolding and criticizing him is NOT the way. You need to speak to him in a way that he understands. You need to communicate lovingly with him. Think about it: How often do you want to do something nice for someone who's mean to you? Fighting with a man only brings about more unhappiness. If you want to your boyfriend to adore you, you've got to understand more about men so you can communicate effectively with him.



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Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back By Saying These Things Through Text

If you aren't ready to let go of your ex boyfriend just yet and if you can't stop thinking about all of your great memories together, then you will be happy to hear that it is possible to get your ex boyfriend back and even re-connect with him on a much deeper level compared to before - believe it.

That's right. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, but are merely afraid of making the first move because he's the one who broke your heart to begin with, you can still get the help that you need to stand up for what you want and grab it.

So, if you don't want to whine about the breakup anymore, then get your guts together, move past the pain, heal your thoughts and try to get your ex boyfriend back now. Naturally, before you actually act on this decision to get him back, you have to look at where you currently stand at the moment and what you really want first. How do you see your future at the moment? How do you feel about yourself? How much do you appreciate yourself, for that matter?

Once the self-evaluation is over and you have thought about your future, make sure you forgive yourself for the part that you might have played during the breakup. Regardless of how much you might have hurt your ex boyfriend back then, forgive yourself for those mistakes and try to just become a better person because of them.

Having said that, you can now learn how to compose the perfect text messages that will make your ex boyfriend want to get back together with you in no time. Before anything else, you have to completely erase your end goal in mind. This means that you shouldn't send text messages that actually try to convince or force your ex boyfriend back into a relationship with you. You shouldn't mention your past relationship at all, either.

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back through text, what you have to do instead is send him personal texts that showcase how confident you have become since your breakup. Make sure you send these text messages in intervals, too. This will show him that you aren't rushing into anything, but are simply living life step by step. This way, you won't completely ruin your chances, even if you end up messing up in one text message or two, either. Smart, huh?



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Are Your Relationships Challenging?

Is getting along with people difficult? Then, I would ask myself; does my life revolve around assumptions and gossip?

Sometimes misunderstanding, hear-say, gossip or accusation can ruins lives. Live your life as "The Four Agreements" and have wonderful harmonious relationships. "The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don't take anything personally. 3. Don't make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. "Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.

It might start as an innocent joke or sometimes justification of an action one takes. However when any "discussion" starts to take shape of one-sided allegation or mere finger-pointing or blame, that is when we need to seat up and question, before posting any comments or personal opinions.

In life, no event, situation or circumstance arouses because of one-sidedness. There are always two people or two parties involved. A falling-out occurs because two people or a group of friends may have had a disagreement or misunderstanding of some sort and it leads to disharmony or difference of opinion.

That does not make one party "right" and another party "wrong". When one side refuses to understand or make amends or give benefit of doubt that is when a small situation can snow ball into a nasty conflict.

When so-called friends, relatives or third-party listen to one side of the story and make judgements or even comments negatively. This perpetuates the outcome into a unhelpful one and takes it to a point of no-return.

We sometimes feel helpless as we assume we cannot influence what is happening around us. The good news is; we can help! Please question the intelligence and ask us, "Are you the one who will blindly follow unfounded information?" "Would you believe anything anyone relates?" Rumours are dangerous and it might give a short term buzz, but please be aware of the damage it may be causing!

Never take a story from one angle and support it, however close friend or relative you might be? When people have beliefs that are different from our own, they get scared, defend themselves, and impose their point of view on others. Sometimes we listen to gossip and make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you feel is kind, loving and helpful. Communicate with others as clearly as you can, to avoid any misunderstandings, sadness and dramas. With just this one agreement, "Don't make assumptions", we can transform our life completely!

When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view and their dreams. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel.

I know, if someone gets angry with me, it is because my belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. I do not become angry, create conflict and expend energy arguing. As I am well aware of the damage assumptions' and gossip can create. Hence I maintain my silence. Instead I empower myself with the "Powers".

Understanding Powers

Power of Silence
Silence is Golden, Silence is stillness of mind. Silence is the gap between each thought. Experience and increase this gap and remember our original nature; our innate original vibrating Self. Through silence we can achieve that seems unachievable or impossible.

Power of Meditation
Meditation allows us to create a window to access our innate natural state of being. It allows us to effortlessly be joyful, experience a peaceful moment with nature, be warm and patient with our loved ones, and fully be present to enjoy the blissful energy radiated by our pets.

Power of Blessings
Giving and receiving blessings is one of the most potent actions of all other deeds of GOD. God's every spoken or unspoken word becomes a blessing for us. We are living images of God on this earth. To give even the slightest glimpse of the Almighty Authority, if we perform this one act joyfully then we would be able to give vision of GOD on this earth. We can emphatically say we have accomplished our purpose on this earth when we understand and use the power of blessings.

Power of Forgiveness
When we hold grudge, anger, jealously, hatred, resentment, revenge, irritation, frustration, and impatience, it opens the door to FEAR. Forgiveness unveils the negative emotions and dissolves them. Learning to forgive is like learning to walk. Step by step. Forgiveness melts the toughest rocks or in our case the hardest hearts into love and well-being.

Power of Appreciation
Appreciation and Humility are twins. When we have one we experience the other. When we are not humble we can not appreciate. When we are appreciative of every thing and every one in our life, it is a humbling experience. Appreciation de-energises the power to our EGO Self; the body consciousness. Appreciation is the single most powerful act to bring ourselves back into the Light Nodes or check the Nodes of Being Spectrum.

Power of Non Judgement
Each an every soul on this earth is unique. Each one has at least one very unique talent that no other soul on this earth has. It has been gifted by GOD. So criticising others will cause us to belittle God's action. I learnt not to judge people a long time ago and I have spared myself so much agony and heart-ache. I have also tapped into this renewed energy which has freed me from this vicious cycle of focusing, judging, categorising, labelling and boxing people, events, circumstances or situations into "bad", "very very bad", "not so good", "terrible", "could be better", "not enough", "horrible", "good", etc.

Sometimes also referred to as being a S.L.O.B.! (Sorting, Labelling, Organising and Boxing) incidents, persons, conditions, state of affairs, behaviours, consequences, outcomes, results, experiences, occurrences, happenings, occasions, events or circumstances.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Easy Ways to Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back - The 5-Step Approach

If you don't know what to do after your ex boyfriend broke up with you, then you might want to look at some easy ways to text your ex boyfriend back. Believe it or not, the following 5-step approach can actually help you win him back in no time.

Step 1. Start talking to him again.

Naturally, these easy ways to text your ex boyfriend back need to start somewhere, and you have to make the first move. However, you need to ensure that he broke up with you at least 30 days ago and that you don't contact him with the end goal of winning him back. For now, your main goal should simply be to start talking to him again - remember that.

Of course, you also have to be ready for the fact that he might not even reply to your text messages to begin with. If this is the case, then don't worry too much. If you don't pressure him into replying, he will eventually come around and text you of his own accord. The key is never to give up and to simply show him that you still care about him after all of this time.

Step 2. Bring back the good memories.

Even though the 30 days are up, you still shouldn't make it obvious that you want to get him back just yet. In fact, one of the easy ways to text your ex boyfriend back would be to just use the word "remember" a lot when you text him. This will remind him of how much fun you used to have together.

Step 3. Get closer.

By step 3, you should try to get closer to your ex boyfriend again. This means bringing up the past more and more when you text. Make sure you only focus on the good times, though. This will work really well in times when he feels sad and depressed.

Step 4. Try to make him jealous.

In a nutshell, you simply have to show your ex boyfriend that you are completely fine being single and that other guys are starting to show some interest in you. The minute he realizes that other guys find you hot, he will pipe up and start showing interest in you again - believe it.

Step 5. Tell him how you feel.

The final step in this guide of easy ways to text your ex boyfriend back would be to tell him that you actually want him back. Make sure you leave this until the very end, though, so that your chances of getting him back will be at their peak.



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4 Rules On How To Contact Your Ex Girlfriend - Only If You Want Her Back

I have summarized the best and most effective way of contacting your ex down into 4 easy to follow steps. I have been through the pain of really wanting my ex back after that relationship ended. We were together for about a year and a half and the breakup was one of the most soul destroying experiences I ever had. I want to help you in your time of need! I know that as a man it can be difficult to talk about our emotions and feelings in real life so I just want to let you know I'm here to support you.

Onto the 4 rules of contact:
1) So first rule of contact is... don't contact her.

The emotional cycle of the breakup is very delicate and things must be done in a time sensitive manner. If you call her too soon it makes you look needy which is very unattractive. The blanket rule is do NOT initiate contact with her in the first 30 days. You can call her on day 30 by this stage both of your wounds will have healed a bit and she will be in an emotional state of loneliness which will mean she is more open to reconciling.

Delete her number from your phone! Trust me on this one man. I sent some weak texts to my ex in my moments of emotional despair "I miss you so much xx". They will kill your chances. Drunk dialing is also not going to do you any good! You can write her number on a piece of paper and put it away somewhere but just take the number out of your phone to avoid drunk dialing and messy messages.

2)What if she contacts me?

If she contacts you that is obviously a positive thing! You need to be careful about what you say and more importantly how you say it! You should just be the cool guy when she contacts you( either via email, phone or in person). DON'T tell her how much you need her, miss her or still fantasize about her. Doing this will make you unattractive in her eyes. It's not romantic... it will just destroy your chances. You want to talk to her as though you are friends or are only interested in being friends.

3) What to talk about?

Similar to above, you are the cool guy so you should only talk about fun interesting things like you would with any of your friends. DO NOT initiate any conversation about the breakup or your feelings for her. If she brings this up then that's cool you can talk about it briefly but then move on. You should say that you're happy the breakup has happened and that it's given you a chance to grow. You really should be using this period to grow as a person. It will help your wounds heal faster and help you become a much more attractive man.

4) Contact is going well how can I move things forward?

Remember you should be in 'friend' mode only. Not trying to sleep with her or declare your undying love. You need to play it cool. So just suggest meeting up for a coffee or some other low pressure environment just like friends would. Take things slowly. Remember your breakup happened for a reason you need to try and work out why before you jump back into the same relationship again.

How you behave and your mental state is very important if you want to attract any woman into your life. It's extremely important if you want to get her back! Make sure you have an effective strategy to get her back. The 4 points above are an excellent place to start!



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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Should I Delete My Ex Girlfriend From Facebook?

Breaking up is a horribly painful process. Sometimes we want to just move on and completely forget about our ex. Other times we just wish we could go back in time and relive those great times we shared together.

Moving on is just a difficult process. You really want to delete her number from the phone but at the same time you keep it because you hope that someday you will get her back. Now, you also have to worry about deleting her from Facebook as well. Seeing her profile updates can be very painful but just like with the telephone number you hope that you will get her back and you still want her to be part of your life. Does deleting her remove hope for a future together or does it help you recover faster?

So Should I Delete My Ex Girlfriend From Facebook?

You are probably reading this article because you are interested in getting your ex girlfriend back and you are confused about the best way to try and get her back. If you didn't want her back you wouldn't care enough to read this article so clearly this woman is important to you.

I personally have NEVER deleted anyone from Facebook. This is my blanket rule. I have been deleted by my ex girlfriends but I wasn't interested in rekindling those relationships or even maintaining friendships so I didn't care enough to ask why. Don't try to delete your Facebook just to grab your ex girlfriends attention. That's immature and childish.

I don't think you should delete your ex. I have some other rules for you about 'Facebooking' with your ex. You should avoid checking out her profile and what she is up to. It will make the breakup more difficult if you stalk her everyday especially if other guys start flirting with her! You can hide her updates on the Facebook wall which I recommend you do. This way you don't have to be immature by deleting her from Facebook and you don't have to be reminded of her every time you log onto Facebook.

Don't over think this. Just hide her updates to help you stop thinking about her. If you guys had mutual friends who are more her friends than yours and tag her in posts that you can still see then hide their updates as well. Basically if something makes you miss her then hide it. This can include things like phone numbers and old pictures.

Get outside and away from Facebook and live your life!

The greatest strategy in moving on after a breakup and getting your ex back are the same! The key is to work on yourself and become a greater man and live a more interesting life. You should be going out and having fun with friends, take up a hobby (like Muay Thai) and even dating other girls. When you do this you will become a much more interesting attractive man and because you will be so busy doing these things and more importantly having fun doing these things then that haunting pain of your ex will slowly start to fade.

When you start living your life in a bigger more interesting way... women will be drawn to you like a magnet! You will have such an interesting life they will want to be part of it. In fact your ex girlfriend will also want to be part of your life again!

If you upload pictures of you and your friends out at a bar/pub to Facebook she might look at them and start thinking about you again. It will make her miss you when she sees that you are having fun without her. You should NOT upload these pictures only with the intention to make her miss you. That's manipulative. My advice is to live your life in a fun and fulfilling way and you can share those memories and moments with your friends on FB.

If you really want to get your ex back there are strategies and techniques you can use. These extend beyond just Facebook and into other areas of your life. You need to have a step by step plan to get her back. The worst thing you can do it let your emotions lead you because they will lead to some terrible decisions such as drunk dialing or 'I miss you sooo much baby XX' text messages. This will ruin any chance of every getting her back!

How to End a Relationship?

Being in love is one of the greatest things life can offer. Everyday is filled with sunshine and rainbows. But love can also be the greatest cause of misery known to man, because when a love relationship goes wrong, one's world practically collapses.

Now it is important to know how to end a relationship if you know for sure that it does not work out. This may be the hardest decision you will ever make, but it also can be your best one. Nothing is worse than being trapped in an unhealthy relationship that only drain your tears day after day.

When you realise you no longer want to commit to a certain someone, use your head and not your heart. You will have a pile of sweet memories that you like to hang on to, but remember, memories as they are, only part of the past. They are no longer here, they are gone. Things have changed, and those sweet imageries may never repeat themselves. So don't let those impair your judgement.

Breaking up may sound like a simple thing to do, but it is really not. You have been close together and have been part of each other's life for some time now, it will take a lot of courage to end it, not to mention the heart break that follows, even though you are the one who wants the break up.

Here are a few simple tips when you are ending a relationship:

1. Prepare yourself. It is a lot harder to deal with yourself than to deal with your partner. You can never do it if your head and heart do not agree with each other. Be sure about the reasons you want this relationship to end, and strengthen your heart, that no matter what happen, nothing will change your mind.

2. Plan what you are going to say, and where you are going to say it. It is important that you are confident and know what you are saying when you face your partner. It is better to talk in private but avoid breaking up through the phone or a text message. This person has been your significant half for a while so do show some respect when you want to end things.

3. Keep your cool. Avoid argument or quarrel when you tell your partner about how you feel. Be honest with them about the reasons for the break up, because they deserve to know the truth. However if it is because you are now seeing someone else, you don't need to rub it on their face just to make them feel worse than they already do.

4. Give each other space after that and don't rush into new relationship. Breaking up will cause emotional instability no matter who is doing the break up. Give it some time before you start calling your ex to know how they are doing even though you still care for them.



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Texting Your Ex Boyfriend Back by Using the Right Words in Your Texts

If you were in a long-term relationship quite recently, then you must have been used to texting your ex boyfriend all of the time. As a matter of fact, you probably stayed in touch with him through text ever since he got your cell phone number, and he must have sent you text messages regularly, as well - especially after you became an official couple.

So, if your ex boyfriend is the one who broke up with you, then nobody can really blame you if you still check your cell phone consistently and hope to get text messages from him. Well, guess what? If you still love your ex boyfriend, you can look into texting your ex boyfriend back and actually succeeding, if you follow these simple tips.

Tip Number One: Make him miss you.

Regardless of how much you might miss your ex boyfriend or how much you think about him on a daily basis, do not text him too much. Not only will this make you look aggressive, but it will also make you look desperate. So, instead, lay low for a little while and let your ex boyfriend miss you a little bit. Once you stop running after him, he is sure to notice your absence and start texting you himself - believe it.

Tip Number Two: Stop caring so much.

If he starts replying once you start texting your ex boyfriend, then congratulations! However, if he refuses to reply to your texts sometimes, then just let it go. Stop caring so much. Other things you should do is stop bringing up the past when you text him and stop apologizing for your mistakes. This will only bring back bad memories and make him avoid you more.

Tip Number Three: Invite him out.

As effective as text messages might be at opening your communication lines with your ex boyfriend again, you won't actually get him back until you see him and somehow convince him to do so. So, invite him out sometime, so that you can get the opportunity to talk about your potential future together face to face.

Remember: text messages are great stepping stones, but texting your ex boyfriend will never compare to a proper conversation held in person. So, set that date and tell your ex boyfriend how you feel. Who knows? He might just feel the same way and finally ask to get back together with you.



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How To Know What To Say To Get Your Ex Back

Do you know what to say to get your ex back? You don't want to appear desperate yet you want your ex to know that you still have feelings for him or her. So what do you say? The best thing is to play it cool and don't chase after your ex by constantly texting or phoning. If you were the one who ended the relationship and now bitterly regret it, you have to say sorry. What made you break up? Were you dating someone else and now realise too late that you love your ex?

Did you catch him or her cheating? If the first is true then you need to give your ex a couple of days to calm down and then call him or her. After saying sorry, you need to be honest and just say"if I could go back in time I wouldn't have cheated, and now I realise how much I love you. I hope you can forgive me and that we can at least stay in touch as friends". This doesn't put any pressure on your ex as you aren't begging him or her to get back with you, yet you are still saying that you love him or her.

Don't make any more calls for a couple of weeks, even if it's tempting to pick up the phone, or send another text. If you don't hear from your ex in that time you could call to say "hi", but just keep it very casual. Knowing what to say to get your ex back can be hard, but the golden rule is never push things. Just keep it light and friendly.

If your ex broke up with you, then the same rule of not chasing after him or her applies. Don't beg your ex to take you back as this will make you look desperate. Use a bit of reverse psychology by actually agreeing to the break up, and even say that you think it's a good idea! This will be the last thing your ex was expecting and will put you in control. It could soon get your ex wondering if he or she made the right decision.

Don't text or phone, but let your ex get in touch with you. If you have used the reverse psychology tactic then this may be sooner than you think. So now you need to know what to say to get your ex back if he or she calls you. Play it cool and don't let him or her see how excited you are. Just say that you are happy to hear from him or her. If your ex asks you to meet up, just say that you are busy at the moment, even if you aren't. You don't want to be seen as just waiting around waiting for your ex to call. Say that you will phone in a few days when you have some spare time.

So now you know what to say to get your ex back. The important thing is not to let your ex think you are desperate to get back together, even if you feel the break up was your fault.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Top Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Want You Back

How to get your ex boyfriend to want you back is something that lots of women want to know after they have been dumped. You must first take time to look at things objectively. Don't chase after him as this will probably make him run further away from you. I know it's hard to resist the urge to send him a text message, or phone and beg him not to leave you,but this really would be the worst thing you could do if you want to get him back.

The best thing you can do if you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back is to accept the break up and get on with your life. If you have lost touch with your friends, now is the time to make contact again and plan a few girlie nights out. Take up a new interest and join a few classes. If there was something you have always wanted to do but never got round to it then this is a great opportunity to do something about it.

Once word gets around that you are leading a happy and full life without him, then he will be feeling a bit hurt. Your ex boyfriend expected you to react differently and is probably wondering why you haven't called him! This is exactly what you want, as now he is thinking about you. If you had begged him to get back with you, he would have ignored you and believed that he could contact you at any time and you would be anxiously waiting by the phone.

If your ex calls you and seems keen to see you again, play it cool. You may be feeling excited to hear his voice and jumping up and down with happiness, but calm down and don't let him see that you are willing to drop everything you are doing just to go and meet him. You are doing great as you have now got him to see you again, so don't spoil it now. Say that you are busy for the next few days as you have other commitments, but are happy to hear from him and hope that he is well. You can then say that you will phone him at the end of the week when you get some free time, and then arrange to meet up.

It's human nature to want something that is hard to get. So now you know some great strategies on how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back. This is only the start as you have to work out what caused the break up in the first place. Lots of couples split up, and many resolve their differences and get back together again. Sometimes it can be something very minor that breaks couples up, such as an argument that gets out of hand, or even a simple misunderstanding. These things can be fixed by just learning to communicate more with each other.

I Can't Get My Ex Back - Why Talking To Your Ex Doesn't Work and What You Should Do Instead

Perhaps you have tried everything but you just couldn't get your ex back. You may even consider talking or 'communicating' with your ex, hoping that the situation will improve. Unfortunately, talking to your ex is not going to work most of the time.

Why Talking Doesn't Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Our common sense tells us that we need to resolve any issues by talking or 'communicating' with our ex.

That is probably the reason why you see so many relationship websites giving the same advice over and over again. They will tell you that you need to communicate with your ex in order to resolve any problems.

However, you need to understand that a relationship between a man and a woman is not governed by common sense. It is governed by emotions.

When the emotions are positive (e.g. during the honeymoon period), any big issues will be overlooked.

When the emotions are negative (e.g. the moment just before the break up), even the smallest problems can cause a storm!

What you didn't realize is that the more you talk about the problems, the worse the situation becomes.

Why is that so?

Because it is those problems that cause both of you to break up in the first place!

In other words, simply mentioning those problems will bring back the negative emotions and feelings between the two of you.

How can you ever get back together when the relationship is invaded by negative feelings?

It Is Important To Resolve All Issues But Focus On Bringing Back The Positive Feelings First!

I am not saying that you should ignore those issues that cause the break up. In fact, it is important to resolve them if you want your relationship to grow stronger after getting back together.

But that should NEVER be your number one focus, at least not now!

This Is What You Should Do Instead

The most important thing you should do now is to figure out how to bring back those positive feelings. To put it simply, you need to make your ex fall in love with you again.

How Full Is Your Emotional Bank Account?

Right now, you have just broken up with your ex. The emotional bank account is at an all time low.

How can you pay your debt when you don't have enough cash in your bank account?

Obviously, you need to find some ways to earn money before you can pay your debt.

How can you talk about any relationship issues and expect to solve them when there are negative emotions in the relationship.

Obviously, you need to find some ways to bring back those positive feelings before you can talk about any relationship issues.

When Should You Contact Your Ex Again?

It depends on the situation. For those who have just broken up, you can wait for 30 days.



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Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back with These 3 Effective Text Messages

Almost everybody has a cell phone nowadays, so it makes sense if almost everybody uses them to communicate with one another, too - and that includes trying to get your ex boyfriend back. However, if you don't know how to use text messages in an effective manner, then you might want to follow these tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back through text first.

As a matter of fact, if you have been texting your ex boyfriend for a while now, but haven't been hearing back from him at all, then these 3 effective text messages are sure to turn things around for you in no time:

Text Number One:

"Hey, want to meet up and catch up soon?" Because this text message is so simple, many girls ignore it. However, it will actually get your ex boyfriend's attention in a good way because it isn't insulting and it doesn't start up a fight - something that girls seem to like to do through text after a breakup. Therefore, it would work very well as your first text message while you are trying to open up your communication lines and get your ex boyfriend back. Try it!

Text Number Two:

"I want to see you." If your breakup was pretty bad, then you should avoid sending this particular text message altogether. However, if your breakup wasn't that bad, then you can use this text message to show your ex boyfriend that you are still interested in him. The best part is that this text will do so without sounding demanding in any way. If he responds and says he wants to see you, too, then meet up with him and show him how mature you can be after your breakup. Soon after that, you can start thinking about mentioning getting back together again.

Text Number Three:

"I just want to clear things up with you." After a breakup, it is inevitable for girls to text their ex boyfriends with bitter lines that sound accusing, lack inflection, and make the guys feel guilty. So, be more straightforward and concise and let him know exactly what you want. This way, your ex boyfriend won't misinterpret your text messages and might even reply to you for a change.

Yes, breakups are generally painful - especially if you were the one who got dumped. However, it is still possible to get your ex boyfriend back through text. Just make sure you try out one of the effective text messages mentioned above.



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Friday, June 8, 2012

Is It a Good Idea to Date Other Women If You Want Your Ex Back?

I am actually quite surprised at how often I get this puzzled look meeting me when I recommend to a guy who wants his ex back that he should also consider dating other women. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that men are conditioned to believe that they need to be a "one woman man" and they take that conditioning to the point where they even feel like they need to be this way after they have broken up with a woman. I wouldn't suggest that you do this if you were still in a relationship with her, but if you have broken up with your ex girlfriend, it really is not that bad to consider the idea of meeting and dating other women.

Won't That Make Her Jealous?

This is where it gets a little bit counter intuitive for most guys. You want it to make her a little bit jealous. You want to stoke that fire so that she has to confront the fact that she still has feelings for you. You want her to feel that way so that she understands that you are not going to always be an option that she can run back to when she feels like it. See, when you just sit around and wait for your ex girlfriend to come back, you are pretty much telling her that she can do whatever she wants and you will still be there. You don't want to do that.

You Are Showing Her That You Can Move On -

Another good thing that happens when you start dating other women, is that your ex girlfriend sees that you can move on. That is actually a good quality to have as a guy. You don't want her to think that you are one of those guys who lives in the past and can't move on with his life. Like I said, all of this can go against the grain of what you have been conditioned to believe that you should do, and that is why it actually works.

You Also Get To See If She Is Really Who You Want -

Lastly, when you start to date other women, you get to really get a good look at whether or not your ex girlfriend really is the right woman for you. You may be feeling like she definitely is right now, but if you happen to meet someone whom you have a good time with and you are attracted to, that may change. And that may not be such a bad thing if that means that you end up happier with a new woman than you would be with your ex girlfriend. All in all, it is a good idea for you to date other women even if you want your ex back.



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How to Make My Ex Call Me Back By Tomorrow - Just Use This Simple Message

I really want to talk to my ex. But they don't even bother to call me back. What should I do now? How can I make my ex call me back?

Getting Your Ex To Call You Back Is Really Easy

Well, this is a very common problem faced by a lot of men and women who are trying to get their ex back. Fortunately, it is not that difficult to get your ex to return your call. In this article, I am going to share with you a method that works really well.

All you really need to do is to follow step by step. If everything goes smoothly, you can expect a phone call from your ex by tomorrow.

2 Important Elements That Will Make Your Ex Call You Back By Tomorrow

In order for the plan to work, there are 2 important elements that you cannot leave out. Let us take a look at these 2 elements now.

Element 1: Curiosity

I am sure you have heard of the phrase, 'curiosity kills that cat'. But do you know that 'curiosity can kill a human being' too?

It is just like the characters you see in those detective novels. The lead character got so curious about this secret society that he decides to investigate them even at the risk of his own life.

Here is a fact. Human beings are curious by nature. Of course, not everyone will be willing to risk their life to satisfy their curiosity.

However, people are generally willing to do a lot more than usual in order to satisfy their curiosity. Therefore, if you really want your ex to call you back, you need to make them really curious.

Element 2: What Is In It For Me

Without a doubt, there are many selfless and altruistic people in this world. However, most people are more concerned about their own problems than anything. In other words, most people will have the 'what is in it for me' mentality.

Therefore, if you want your ex to call you back, you need to make sure that it is something that concerns them. Remember, it is not about you. It is about them.

That is why text messages or emails such as "I really need to talk to you" usually don't work. This is because it is all about your needs to talk to them. There is nothing in it for them to talk to you.

Just Send Your Ex This Simple Message And Wait For Your Ex To Call You In 24 Hours

Here is a message you can use to get your ex to call you within 24 hours. You can either send a text message or leave a voice mail.

So here is the message, "Hey (Name of Your Ex), thank you very much for what you have done for me. Do call me so that I can thank you personally. Regards, (Your Name)"

(Note: Sometimes your ex may hesitate a while before calling or they may be busy. So don't panic if your ex doesn't get back to you in 24 hours. Just wait a few days and you should be able to receive a phone call from them.)

Of course, you don't have to use this message word for word. Feel free to modify this message so that it fits your slang or personality.

So Why Is This Message So Effective?

First, it is going to make your ex extremely curious. Your ex will be scratching their head wondering why you want to say thank you. This satisfies element 1 as we have discussed above.

Second, this message is all about what your ex has done for you. It is not all about you. This satisfies element 2.

I'm Still in Love With My Ex - He's Moving On

How long have you two been together? And of course how long have you two broken up?

If your break up is still relatively fresh in your mind, of course you are still in love with your ex-boyfriend.

Your feelings are not going to just go away like that from one day to the next just because you two are no longer together.

Of course, if you suspect or know for a fact that he is moving on, it can hurt and I do understand that.

But it's time for you to dry your tears and to try to feel better about yourself and the situation.

Think about it - if he is moving on

1. He definitely not sitting around thinking about you and worrying about what you are doing.

That's not to say that he doesn't remember you or give you a passing thought. It just means that for most of the day, he is not wrapped up in thoughts of you. It's not a good idea for you to be wrapped up in thoughts of him either.

2. Have you decided what it is that you want to do? Do you want to move on as well or do you want him back?

For you to do either of the above, you have to know for sure what you want to do and then put a plan in place to achieve one or the other.

In other words, the fact that you say "I'm still in love with my ex", what does that mean?

Are you just making a statement or an observation or do you want to do something with it?

What are you afraid of? What are you really hoping for?

If you can't think through clearly what it is that you want or if you cannot articulate your feelings properly, then take a pen and piece of paper and write them down.

How does you being in love with your ex but not being able to be with him make you feel?

Then decide what situation would you rather be in?

Would you rather move on as well and try to get over him?

If so then, write down what life would be like if you didn't think about him.

What would you be doing? Where would you be going? Who would you be doing these things with? How would you feel?

Make sure that you describe a perfect day without any thought of him whatsoever, a day when you are blissfully happy and content!

Now do the very same process if you would like to get back together with your ex - but you have got to be sure this is what you want!

Write down what life would be like if you got back together with him!

Describe a perfect day with him! Where would you two be? How would you feel if you were with him?

Happy, contented?

Basking in the fact he is is completely in love with and has eyes only for you. He leans over and gives you a soft kiss on the lips and tells you how much he loves you!

And you a ecstatic that you too are in love with him. Feel the love and the contentment.

So which will it be? What makes you feel happy?



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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Marriage: Cell Phone Private or Secret?

When something is private it means that the information is restricted to certain individuals. When something is a secret it is hidden and unintended for viewing. When something is a secret, it is also private, but when something is private, it may not be a secret. For instance, let's say you get arrested for drunk driving. The arresting officer knows it, the jailor knows it, the person you call to bail you out knows it and you divulge the information to select others on a need to know basis. This is a private matter. But it's not a secret.

Here's another scenario. You are married. You and your spouse have cell phones. Are the contents of your phone private or a secret? If it is private, then your spouse has access to it if he or she chooses. That means there is no information on your phone that would violate the sanctity of the marriage relationship. In other words, there is nothing to hide. Your spouse has the code to unlock your phone and you do not mind leaving it laying around in full view. When this is the case, a spouse may rarely if at all peep your phone.

On the other hand, if you are very protective of the information on your phone, seldom, if at all, leave it lying around or must give your spouse the code upon request and be present when he or she is scrolling through your phone it may be more secret than private!

The problem is that in marriage the notion of 'secret' is a fallacy. God said that the two, husband and wife, would become one flesh. Anytime a husband or wife begins to withhold something from that new 'one flesh' the other will naturally feel it. It will feel uncomfortable and it's supposed to. This pulling away from 'one flesh' is the beginning of a separate life and there is only so much pulling at 'one' before it tears and becomes two. Any attempt to hide in marriage will eventually become apparent. While your spouse may not know exactly what is going on, they will feel something tugging at this 'one flesh.' How we respond to this is important.

In marriage, we should respect each other's privacy and not insist upon our own. Many think marriage works like this: 'I don't hide my cell phone, so my spouse shouldn't either.' Listen, if your spouse is hiding the contents of his or her cell phone it has little, if anything, to do with whether or not you hide your phone! We hide because we are afraid of exposure and the consequences. Adam hid because he was afraid. Genesis 3:10 reads,

"So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself."

It is wonderful that you do not hide your cell phone. It is equally wonderful that the contents of your phone are available for your spouse to view at will. However, neither of these will resolve your spouse's fear. You are setting a good example and one worthy to be followed. But following must be your spouse's choice, rather than your demand.

So what can you do if your spouse chooses to hide the contents of his or her cell phone? Here are a few things to consider:

1. Connect with your spouse's fear of exposure. Certainly, you have felt this way before. Recall it. You need to remember this experience for compassion sake. You will not enjoin your spouse by sharing your memory. It is to help you relate empathetically with your spouse, not to expose them.

2. Respect you spouse's choice to hide the contents of the phone. Your spouse needs to know that you will not violate his or her boundaries to your own hurt.

3. Express your hurt. Tell your spouse how it makes you feel when he or she hides information from you.

4. Manage your pain. Talk with God about how you feel. Trust God to reveal to you anything that is necessary to the health and vitality of you personally and your marriage relationship. Let God address your fears. And by all means don't go snooping around, or getting others involved in learning the contents of the phone. Everything hidden will be revealed. God, Himself, promises this. When you learn things before its time, you are generally not equipped to respond appropriately and end up making things worse. You are also likely to prolong God intervening!

5. Pray. Ask God to make you a safe place that is necessary for your spouse to choose to come out of hiding. Thank God for drawing your spouse to Himself in this matter and that no weapon intended to steal, kill or destroy this union will prevail.



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