I have summarized the best and most effective way of contacting your ex down into 4 easy to follow steps. I have been through the pain of really wanting my ex back after that relationship ended. We were together for about a year and a half and the breakup was one of the most soul destroying experiences I ever had. I want to help you in your time of need! I know that as a man it can be difficult to talk about our emotions and feelings in real life so I just want to let you know I'm here to support you.
Onto the 4 rules of contact:
1) So first rule of contact is... don't contact her.
The emotional cycle of the breakup is very delicate and things must be done in a time sensitive manner. If you call her too soon it makes you look needy which is very unattractive. The blanket rule is do NOT initiate contact with her in the first 30 days. You can call her on day 30 by this stage both of your wounds will have healed a bit and she will be in an emotional state of loneliness which will mean she is more open to reconciling.
Delete her number from your phone! Trust me on this one man. I sent some weak texts to my ex in my moments of emotional despair "I miss you so much xx". They will kill your chances. Drunk dialing is also not going to do you any good! You can write her number on a piece of paper and put it away somewhere but just take the number out of your phone to avoid drunk dialing and messy messages.
2)What if she contacts me?
If she contacts you that is obviously a positive thing! You need to be careful about what you say and more importantly how you say it! You should just be the cool guy when she contacts you( either via email, phone or in person). DON'T tell her how much you need her, miss her or still fantasize about her. Doing this will make you unattractive in her eyes. It's not romantic... it will just destroy your chances. You want to talk to her as though you are friends or are only interested in being friends.
3) What to talk about?
Similar to above, you are the cool guy so you should only talk about fun interesting things like you would with any of your friends. DO NOT initiate any conversation about the breakup or your feelings for her. If she brings this up then that's cool you can talk about it briefly but then move on. You should say that you're happy the breakup has happened and that it's given you a chance to grow. You really should be using this period to grow as a person. It will help your wounds heal faster and help you become a much more attractive man.
4) Contact is going well how can I move things forward?
Remember you should be in 'friend' mode only. Not trying to sleep with her or declare your undying love. You need to play it cool. So just suggest meeting up for a coffee or some other low pressure environment just like friends would. Take things slowly. Remember your breakup happened for a reason you need to try and work out why before you jump back into the same relationship again.
How you behave and your mental state is very important if you want to attract any woman into your life. It's extremely important if you want to get her back! Make sure you have an effective strategy to get her back. The 4 points above are an excellent place to start!
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