Monday, June 11, 2012

I Can't Get My Ex Back - Why Talking To Your Ex Doesn't Work and What You Should Do Instead

Perhaps you have tried everything but you just couldn't get your ex back. You may even consider talking or 'communicating' with your ex, hoping that the situation will improve. Unfortunately, talking to your ex is not going to work most of the time.

Why Talking Doesn't Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Our common sense tells us that we need to resolve any issues by talking or 'communicating' with our ex.

That is probably the reason why you see so many relationship websites giving the same advice over and over again. They will tell you that you need to communicate with your ex in order to resolve any problems.

However, you need to understand that a relationship between a man and a woman is not governed by common sense. It is governed by emotions.

When the emotions are positive (e.g. during the honeymoon period), any big issues will be overlooked.

When the emotions are negative (e.g. the moment just before the break up), even the smallest problems can cause a storm!

What you didn't realize is that the more you talk about the problems, the worse the situation becomes.

Why is that so?

Because it is those problems that cause both of you to break up in the first place!

In other words, simply mentioning those problems will bring back the negative emotions and feelings between the two of you.

How can you ever get back together when the relationship is invaded by negative feelings?

It Is Important To Resolve All Issues But Focus On Bringing Back The Positive Feelings First!

I am not saying that you should ignore those issues that cause the break up. In fact, it is important to resolve them if you want your relationship to grow stronger after getting back together.

But that should NEVER be your number one focus, at least not now!

This Is What You Should Do Instead

The most important thing you should do now is to figure out how to bring back those positive feelings. To put it simply, you need to make your ex fall in love with you again.

How Full Is Your Emotional Bank Account?

Right now, you have just broken up with your ex. The emotional bank account is at an all time low.

How can you pay your debt when you don't have enough cash in your bank account?

Obviously, you need to find some ways to earn money before you can pay your debt.

How can you talk about any relationship issues and expect to solve them when there are negative emotions in the relationship.

Obviously, you need to find some ways to bring back those positive feelings before you can talk about any relationship issues.

When Should You Contact Your Ex Again?

It depends on the situation. For those who have just broken up, you can wait for 30 days.



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1 comment:

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